The skies were dazzling and luminous, a sprinkling of downy white clouds adding innocence and charm to the view. A slight breeze played with the tree branches, making the warm temperatures a bit easier to bear. Smoothing her shirt down over the top of her jeans, the girl slowly looked to the heavens and cursed the beautiful sight above. The brilliant weather conditions held no candle to the evil our heroine would soon face:
A trip to Walmart.
The girl straightened her back, determined to take on the major retailer with quick wit and fast legs. Her mission was simple: Rush in, procure the few items she needed, and high-tail it out of that wicked location. She would not stand for delays or an extended search, oh no. She knew what she needed, and she knew where to go. Nothing could detain her. With a deep breath, she marched through the doors into a malicious world of vile disasters.
Nimbly side-stepping around fellow patrons, or, as she thought with a chuckle, the mindless hordes of zombie shoppers, the girl dashed in and out of aisles, snatching what she came for. Silently congratulating herself for her success thus far, she was on her way to obtain the last item when misfortune struck. In the blink of an eye and the swift turn of a corner, she found herself challenged with a catastrophic setback:
She was stuck.
Two elderly women blocked her route of escape with their nearly-empty shopping carts. Stopped, but not discouraged, the girl pulled a risky move by nudging herself as close to the old folks as she politely could, praying they would recognize her impatient failure-to-maintain-a-safe-distance mentality and make room for her to pass. No such luck. The customers merely stayed put.
Not wanting to waste any more of her precious time in the aisle, the girl spun around on her heels and took off in the opposite direction, slipping easily into another aisle and making her getaway from the area. Only mildly annoyed, she took another corner at breakneck speed only to find herself once again at the mercy of hindrance. This time, a hefty woman was blocking the entire walkway. Eager to try her earlier plan yet again, the girl stepped up next to the woman, who happened to be chatting on a phone of cellular nature, and nonchalantly cleared her throat. The vicious woman chose to ignore our champion and maintained her passageway domination.
Again deterred, the girl backtracked, only to find herself in an aisle jam-packed with teenage mutants. No, not turtles... boys. With a gasp of horror and a prayer she wouldn't be seen by the female-seeking robots, she stealthily fled the aisle and tore down an empty one.
Once she was clear of the perilous dangers she had nearly been lost to, the girl acquired the last item from her list. Certain she could make it out alive, she quietly peeked around a shelf to see if the way was clear, only to hear something so eerie, it would make her spine shiver and blood run cold:
'Would you like to try a sample of pizza, dear?'
Eyes wide, the girl slowly turned her head and instantaneously froze. There behind her stood another woman of aged persuasion, only this one wore a sinisterly sweet smile and a black apron. She was situated behind a cart piled high with bits of tomato sauce-drowned, cheese-piled artery cloggers. Her unrelenting gaze nearly foiled the girl's plans of departure, and she found herself confronting a dilemma: She could either partake of the food pieces and surely die, or she could find the strength and voice to deny her foe and shimmy away as fast as possible. With great courage, she opened her mouth, and said:
'NO, thank you.'
Quick as a wink, she took flight and soon found herself at the checkouts. Bypassing all rows where a line of angry customers were anxiously awaiting to send her straight to doom, she flung herself in front of a blessedly empty express lane. With shaking hands, she handed her treasures over to be scanned and paid, only to find herself fighting to free her bag of merchandise from the cold, metallic clutches of the bag corral. Glancing around nervously, she spotted the leader of the checkouts watching her, and in that moment, on the verge of a menacing calamity, she rescued the bag from the apparatus' steely grip and departed the store with impressive gusto.
With a sigh of relief, the girl found herself outside. As she jaunted towards her vehicle, victory radiating from her face, a final blow was about to be dealt:
'Miss, would you like this cart? I don't need it anymore.'
THE END.
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