Close, but no cigar.
There is a fifth entity in our midst who has the power to reduce us all to quivering pots of nerves and tears. It can force us to cater to its games and whims, and we, sadly, have no choice but to obey.
His name is Teddy.
Teddy is, next to August, the most important... being... in our household. He is undoubtedly and without debate August's best and most trusted friend, bewitching him early on. No other toy or stuffed animal can compare to Teddy in August's young devotion. If Teddy ain't happy, August ain't happy. If August ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. He has his good points and his not-so-good points, but don't we all? Let's dig deeper into the bear that is Teddy.
Teddy is hugely loyal. He is very much a one-boy bear. When August carts Teddy around, Teddy couldn't be in a better mood. He smiles brighter, his satin shines with an unearthly gleam, and his fabric feels like the feather on an angel's wing. If anyone else chooses to hold and hug Teddy, the disapproval is palpable. I picked up Teddy once to give him a squeeze and he let out a bitter sigh. Seriously. Try it. Grab hold of him and try to ignore the feelings of inferiority and distaste Teddy levels at you. When I look in his eyes, I know I am not worthy.
Teddy is, at best, absentminded. He constantly finds himself lost or misplaced, but doesn't care a whit. He's very successful with the laid-back attitude (Unless, of course, someone other than August is holding him.) and will patiently wait to be found in the refrigerator, the shower, the zoo's lost and found... You name a place and Teddy has probably found his way there at one point or another to lazily hang out while the rest of us are tearing out our hair and feverishly searching for him. In fact, I think he enjoys it. What an attention whore. I will admit, though, that being the one to finally discover the elusive Teddy is a magnificent and lovely victory, akin to hearing you've been drafted to the Green Bay Packers as starting quarterback or winning your senior class president election. Not that I'd know. Maybe I'm way off base there, but maybe I'm not. We'll call over Aaron Rodgers and see how he feels when he's the one to stumble across Teddy under the lid of the piano. Better than winning the Super Bowl, I'd bet.
Teddy is incredibly quiet, which is both a blessing and a curse. I mean, the last thing I want to hear is Teddy screeching and warbling some songs in the middle of the night or trying to discuss the economy with me. Teddy's no fool. He knows small talk is overrated and often unnecessary. I appreciate his silence. At the same time, however, when he does speak his mind, it's only to August, which can be a huge bummer when you question him on where August is hiding all the sippy cups. I even threatened not to wash him once in a greedy attempt to obtain that knowledge, but no go. All I received was a cold stare that said, 'I'm just a bear, what do I know? Besides, you signed up for week-old milk curdling in cups under tables and carpets when you became a mom.' I've learned my lesson. I don't question Teddy any longer.
There is no denying Teddy is adorable. His smile can turn your bones to liquid, and the way he holds onto his blankie (body?) makes you want to puke rainbows. He has the added bonus of patiently being around prior to August's birth AND sticking with him through his NICU stay, so you have no choice but to overlook anything bad Teddy can or will do in complete and utter gratitude of the friendship he forged before his buddy was even in the world. Touché, Teddy... touché.
I tried to put Teddy in his place and show him he was expendable by purchasing a couple of backup Teddies, Teddy Two and Teddy the Third, Esq. Original Teddy only laughed in their faces and shook his head in amusement, while TT and TtT shrank back in terror on their shelf. They don't even try to get out lest the be on the receiving end of a shank for trying to weasel in on August's affections. I wouldn't put it past Teddy to 'take care of them' if he could, which is precisely why they are high and out of reach in the closet. They can only dream of a day when Teddy's head falls off or he is too raggedy and dusty to fulfill his duties.
Well, there you have it. That's Teddy in an all-too-comprehensive nutshell. He's a faithful, belligerent, charming, cheeky, lackadaisical mixture of cotton fluff, satin and bear... and we couldn't live without him.
He's made sure of it.
